the Demodex. For those who aren't entomologists or who have never had eyelashes infestations, the Demodex is a microscopic mite that lives on the fur of dogs and the eyelashes of humans. And while the Demodex is otherwise unremarkable, it is the only animal I know of that doesn't poop.
Its digestive system is so efficient that the mite has evolved to the point where it no longer has an anus. It doesn't poop. It feasts on oils at the base of our eyelashes and, like some über-efficient fantasy machine, uses every bit of the fuel it takes in without any waste.
In other words, this disgusting little translucent mite thinks it's better than us. It sits above our eyes and mocks us because we poop and it doesn't. It's so perfect that it doesn't think opinions are like assholes. It arrogantly munches on our eyelash oils and infests our dogs.
